Couples & Family Therapy

My Evolving Approach

Every relationship encounters challenges. Over time, couples and/or families can become caught in patterns of conflict, distance, resentment, or misunderstanding that leave individuals feeling unheard, disconnected, or alone. Often, these cycles are not the result of a lack of love or commitment, but rather the ways each person has learned to protect themselves from hurt, disappointment, or rejection.

Over the past 25 years, I’ve spent a considerable amount of time working with individuals, couples, and families. Grounded in Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT) and Family Systems, my early training emphasized working with either the individual or the relational system—whether that was a couple or a family. While there are different schools of thought on combining individual and relational work, the prevailing view among many of my colleagues and supervisors was that doing both could create conflicts of interest. Concerns about confidentiality, maintaining neutrality, and avoiding the perception of "taking sides" often made this approach seem ethically and clinically complicated.

From time to time, I would meet individually with one partner or family member, but these sessions were generally brief and intended to support the broader relational work rather than becoming an ongoing part of therapy.

Everything changed when I began training in Relational Life Therapy (RLT). RLT views individual healing and relational healing as inseparable. Rather than alternating between individual therapy and couples or family therapy, the work often unfolds with everyone present. At times, one partner or family member may explore a painful life experience, longstanding relational pattern, or unresolved trauma while the other members remain actively engaged in the process. This creates an opportunity for each person not only to understand the other's experience more deeply, but also to learn how to respond with greater empathy, accountability, and compassion.

This shared therapeutic experience can be profoundly healing. Rather than one person carrying their pain alone, healing takes place within the relationship itself. As the therapist, I help create a space where vulnerability can be met with understanding rather than defensiveness, while also modelling healthy communication, emotional honesty, effective listening, and respectful challenge. These moments often become powerful corrective emotional experiences that strengthen the relationship while fostering individual growth.

My work with couples and families is grounded primarily in Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT) and Relational Life Therapy (RLT). These approaches complement one another in powerful ways. EFT helps couples identify the deeper emotions and attachment needs that often lie beneath conflict, allowing each partner to feel seen, understood, and emotionally connected. RLT complements this process by helping couples recognize the patterns that keep them stuck, holding space for healing old wounds- together, and by providing practical tools for communicating more effectively, setting healthy boundaries, taking responsibility for their contributions to conflict, and repairing moments of disconnection.

As I continue to develop my practice, I intend to integrate Relational Life Therapy whenever it is clinically appropriate. I believe it offers a comprehensive, experiential, and deeply relational approach that not only helps individuals heal, but also empowers couples and families to create healthier, more authentic, and more resilient relationships together.

Relationships are rarely transformed through insight alone. Meaningful change occurs when partners and family members begin interacting differently with one another. Together, we will work to recognize the cycles that create distance, understand how past experiences influence present reactions, and develop new ways of responding that foster trust, respect, intimacy, and emotional safety.

Whether you are hoping to strengthen your connection, recover from a breach of trust, navigate a major life transition, or simply learn healthier ways of communicating, couples/family therapy offers a space where all persons can feel heard, challenged, and supported as you work toward the relationship(s) you want to create with one another.